The concept of decisions
Or making a choice, or actually doing something.
Not making a decision is also making a decision.
Just now, minute ago I made a decision to finish writing this.
I had an idea to write, I opened this page, made a title. Wrote first two sentences and then took my phone and opened clubhouse. Like why? Is my attention span tiny or am I sabotaging myself with these things? My first intention was to write about my thoughts and realizations I had in the morning- about how I’m not making decisions. How I’m not taking charge of my life. In doing things, making decisions. Like I have bunch of things I want to do, try out, but some how I can’t decide so I don’t do anything and then I feel bad about that. And it makes sense.
The reason I started to write here generally was so I can practice and not judge, just do. Write in foreign language, get used to ‘’publicly’’ share some things, in the end see ‘’ how much minute read ‘’ it is. To try to write something personal but in the same time not really like in my journal. Little bit ‘’ bigger’’ thoughts than ‘’today I did this and that and at this moment I’m there and there, feeling like this and that’’. What people write in their journals?
Going back to the idea about decisions/ choices. Not sure which word more resonates with me. However, I must admit pretty often I have started to do some things in my life because it has somehow happened. It’s not necessarily a ‘’ bad’’ thing, however looking in the bigger picture seems, that deep down it is bugging me. There is this feeling that follows.. What’s the reason, purpose?
Yea, being the opposite of proactive is also a ‘’choice’’ . I’m not sure if I would say reactive. More like just not doing, not responding, not taking initiative. Just like floating in the water, just going somewhere — nowhere.
When we have to many options, we don’t choose anything.
So , I guess, the question is. What decisions I need to make?
And then, of course, how to follow through them.
Yea, proactiveness is a thing- it has made me feel good in the past, I guess I could start there.
Love ya.
